Sleep experts I need a dick in my ass right now shirt . are very clear about what you need for maximum rest: create a consistent pre-bed ritual, avoid caffeine after a certain hour of the so you should to go to store and get this afternoon, and—above all—stay away from late-night screen time. As a certified sleep non-expert, though—albeit one who enjoys a luxurious nine hours nightly due to a combination of good luck and sloth—I’m here to set the record straight and tell you that you need a bedtime show. What’s a bedtime show, you ask? Simple: It’s a TV series that you like, but not so much that it actively keeps you awake. It doesn’t necessarily have to be boring, just familiar enough that it enables you to drift off peacefully. You know when you’re on a trip with friends, and you can hear the soft, peaceful murmur of people chatting in the kitchen when you wake up late in the morning? That’s how a bedtime show should function; it should make you feel like you’re being lulled to sleep by voices you know well enough to be comforted by. My bedtime show, the Netflix series Derry Girls, is equal parts wholesome and hilarious, but more importantly, I’ve watched it so many times that I’ve sucked the marrow out of it, turning it into a well-worn favorite that my brain automatically recognizes as soothing. (Sort of like white noise, if white noise involved heavy northern Irish accents.) To further probe the elusive appeal of the bedtime show, I asked six Vogue staffers what they watch to fall asleep.
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